


He Loves Me

by lovelyspacegay



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, I hate myself, help me, i don't even know if i know how straight sex works, i guess jealous Negan?, this is actually my first straight fic ever, why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-27 19:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyspacegay/pseuds/lovelyspacegay
Summary: Negan was a threatening character, to say the least. The barbed wire bat rested on his leather-clad shoulder. A sick grin was spread across his face. I'd never been so intrigued, but I couldn't figure out what it was. When he offered to take me back to his compound, The Sanctuary, I accepted in a heartbeat. How hard would it be to get close to him?





	1. Chapter 1

My mother cowered in fear beside me, clutching me like a lifeline. We had heard whispers of the Saviors, a group that was swallowing everything in its path: either you worked for them or you were wiped out mercilessly and added to their legion of undead. It was hard to tell where the rumors ended and where truth began, but it was terrifying enough to think that even a fraction of those stories were true. A fist grabbed my hair, yanked me to my feet. My mother screamed. I put my hands to my scalp, trying to massage the pain away. I was pulled back and tossed to my knees, in a line with everyone I knew. My mother landed hard beside me. No one dared move or look up. It didn't even seem like we were breathing. A car door opened, slammed shut. Heavy boots stepped closer. I raised my eyes slightly and saw the bat. So, that was true. There had been stories that the leader of the Saviors carried a bat wrapped in barbed wire, and he used it to beat the life out of anyone who irritated him. He walked down the line slowly, tapping it against the ground in front of everyone. I flinched when he got to me, and apparently that got his attention. A rough hand grabbed my chin and forced me to look up. 

I was prepared to see a monster, scarred by years of fighting and so horrible to look at that I wouldn't be able to hold his gaze. I wasn't expecting him. Handsome, to say the least, with knowing brown eyes and a graying beard. There was something about him that was almost magnetic. Those eyes bored into me and I couldn't look away. His lips curled in a smirk and he patted my cheek, then turned around. He whispered something to a man who I assumed was his second. He had shaggy blond hair and half of his face was strangely distorted, like it had been almost melted off. The second whispered something back and the leader turned around. 

"Well hello, you sorry little pricks!" His voice boomed and he swung the bat off his shoulder. "I don't know who you are, but you will sure as shit know who I am." 

"We don't want trouble!" the leader of our group, a mild-mannered man named Leon, stuttered. The man stepped forward and squatted down so they were eye to eye.

"Too goddamn bad, because trouble is what you've got. Now!" He straightened up again. "My name is Negan. And what is your name?" He pointed his bat at his second.

"Negan," he choked out. Negan pointed the bat at someone else.

"I'm Negan," he said. The original smiled at us, a cold, sharklike grin. 

"So you see the dynamic we've got here. They're Negan, I'm Negan, you're gonna be Negan. Unless, of course, you refuse my generous offer," he purred. I looked up at him and our eyes met for a moment. Chills ran up my arms.

"What.. what offer?" Leon asked.

"Provide for me. Be a vein, pumping blood to the heart." He patted his chest over his own heart. "You'll scavenge, and we will provide protection. You don't take it, you get to pay."

"Can't we think it over?" Leon begged. Negan shook his head.

"It's not a big decision to make. I think you need a goddamn motivator," he growled. He walked past all of us again, tapping us on the top of the head with his bat. It was heavy, and a barb pricked my scalp. I let out a yelp and he bent down to me. “What’s your name?” he demanded. I straightened up and looked at him, but didn’t say a word. He stood up and yanked my hair back so we didn’t break eye contact. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Callie,” I spat. He smiled and let go of my hair. 

“Can’t wait to hear you say that you’re Negan.” He kept walking and stopped in front of a man, who was glaring at the dirt like it had personally offered to fight him. It was Mario, the best sharpshooter we had. His wife and baby daughter had turned a little over a month ago, and he had gotten reckless.

“You wouldn’t dare hit one of us,” he muttered. Negan cupped his ear. 

“Care to repeat that?” he asked. Mario tried to stand up, and Negan shoved him down. “Don’t try to do anything, I will shut that shit down!” 

“I said you wouldn’t dare hit one of us!” he repeated.

“Guess again!” he singsonged. The bat swung through the air and cracked against his skull. Someone screamed, maybe it was me. Negan stood over him, his leather jacket speckled with blood. He hit him again, again, again, oh my god, he wouldn't stop. I felt myself sobbing but everything felt so detached. I couldn't stop looking at his face as he disintegrated Mario's skull. When I looked at him again, there was only a pile of... mush. Skull, brain, and blood all mixed in the dirt. 

"So. Back to that decision." He swung the bat back on his shoulder. A spatter of blood flew off the end, and my head cleared. My people were screaming and crying. My mother was sobbing next to me, doubled over. 

"I... we... we accept," Leon cried. He had been particularly close to Mario, even before his wife died. There were rumors, of course. But now, they lay dead in the dirt.

"Oh, one more thing. A little, uh, clause in our agreement. I get to take one of your people back to my compound,” he grinned. He pointed the bat at me. “And I want her.”

My heart sped up. “Please, n-” I began, but I changed my mind. A life in this man’s compound could change me. They were all wearing new clothes and looked clean, how bad could it actually be? “Okay,” I surrendered. I turned to my mother and hugged her weakly. She held onto me so tightly I was worried that she would rip my clothes. Someone pulled me out of her grip and into the back of a large truck. I looked over my people, a group that I had known for years. They had fought for me, and I for them. But now, surrounded by all these powerful people and seeing them on their knees, I couldn’t help but think that they looked… weak. I could do better. I could move on to a better life. I stared at my mother as the trucks rumbled away, leaving them in our dust.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wife? You? Never would’ve guessed,” I commented. 
> 
> “Not just wife, wives,” he corrected. “I’ve got a few. I prefer wives over girlfriends, it’s more of a commitment. They stay mine.”
> 
> “And… you took Dwight’s wife,” I guessed. He grimaced.
> 
> “A story for another time, sweetheart, we’ve got shit to do.” Negan put his hand on the small of my back and guided me to a metal door.

I wasn't sure how long we drove, I fell asleep not long after we left. When I finally woke up, we were pulling through a massive set of wire gates. The convoy sputtered to a stop, and Negan stepped out of his truck in front of us. He sauntered over to us and extended a hand to me. I took it carefully and climbed out of the back of the truck. I let go of his hand as soon as I was off the truck. He chuckled and I looked at the bloodstains on the bat. There were some that were fresh… Mario. But some were so old that they nearly blended in with the wood. I couldn’t help but wonder where they came from. 

I leaned up against the truck as they unloaded and let my mind wander, coming up with various theories about Negan’s past. My favorite was the idea that he had been a Little League coach before everyone started turning, and he eventually got fed up with the self-righteous parents. I could even picture him yelling at some blond PTA mom… “No, Barbara, Timmy isn’t fucking special, you’re lucky I haven’t kicked him off the damn team!” I started giggling so much that he shot me a curious glance.

“Oh god, you haven’t cracked yet, have you? We haven’t even gotten started,” he smiled lopsidedly. I shook my head and dropped my grin. He grabbed my chin again, forced me to look up again. “I would really appreciate if you used your words, like a big girl.”

“I’m fine. Just thinking about something funny,” I murmured.

“Oh? Do share.” He let go of me and crossed his arms, his bat waving dangerously behind him.

“I was just… I was wondering what you did before the world went to shit. I started thinking, um, what if you were a Little League coach?” I blurted. He stared at me for a second, then started laughing. Really laughing.

“Well shit! That’s funny! I’m gonna like having you around,” he laughed. “Too bad I was just a used car salesman, huh?” He gestured to the man with the burned face. “Dwight, get the new girl some clothes. Something from your… oh, my wife’s old shit. They look about the same size.” Dwight set his jaw and turned around stiffly. I raised an eyebrow.

“Wife? You? Never would’ve guessed,” I commented. 

“Not just wife, wives,” he corrected. “I’ve got a few. I prefer wives over girlfriends, it’s more of a commitment. They stay mine.”

“And… you took Dwight’s wife,” I guessed. He grimaced.

“A story for another time, sweetheart, we’ve got shit to do.” Negan put his hand on the small of my back and guided me to a metal door. A guard opened the door and I stepped in. It was… cool. Actual air conditioning? It couldn’t be. We walked down a barren hallway past identical doors. The path twisted and turned, and I was sure he was just trying to confuse me. We stopped abruptly at a door that looked like all the others.

“What’s this?” My voice was small.

“Your room. For now.” He fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked it. There was a bed, an actual bed, and a little couch. I stepped in and looked around in awe. He chuckled.

“I… why? Why me?” I asked.

“You intrigued me, maybe because you don’t look away when I look at you. Even if I do have to make you look at me,” he grinned. I felt myself flush. “Get yourself cleaned up. Dwight will be over soon with some clothes, I’ll come back for you in an hour.” He turned to leave, but paused, like he was going to say something. He walked out and shut the door behind him. I ran over and threw myself onto the bed, I couldn’t remember the last time I had been so comfortable. I only wanted to sleep, but Negan told me to clean myself up, and I didn’t think I should disappoint him.

But clean myself up? With what? I wandered around the room, trying the doors. There was a bathroom, with an actual shower. I couldn’t believe my luck. I slowly turned the knob. There was a moment with nothing, and then water poured out. Actual running water. I stripped quickly and stepped in. It was so, so, so good. I kept turning it up, making it warmer, until it felt like Lucifer’s tongue slid out and licked my back. Jesus, the water was hot, but I actually felt like I was awake for the first time in a long, long time. I washed my hair, taking my time. The suds burned my eyes. I scrubbed myself clean of weeks of dirt, blood, and just overall filth. I squeezed the excess water out of my hair and wrapped myself in a towel. I stepped out and there was a knock on the door.

“Uh, hi. It’s Dwight. I’ve got some of Sherry’s clothes for you,” the voice said. I opened the door tentatively and saw him, standing about a foot away and looking at the floor. He glanced up and held the clothes out to me.

“Thank you, Dwight,” I said softly. Then a thought struck me. “Why did you all say your names are Negan?”

“It gives his name more power. If everyone hears it, they’re scared of him. It’s a way to keep everything running. We’re all just a cog in his wheel,” Dwight explained, then looked almost… scared. “I don’t know if I should have said that.”

“No, thank you. You’ve been a marvelous help,” I nodded. He flashed a grateful smile and he was gone. I went back inside and laid the clothes out. There was a black dress that was so short I was sure it would fit like a T-shirt, an actual T-shirt, and jeans that looked like they would fit, as well as an assortment of bras and underwear. I decided against the dress, it just seemed impractical. Just as soon as I was done getting dressed, there was another knock, much heavier than Dwight’s had been.

“Come in!” I called out. Negan stepped in, the bat on his shoulder once again and a pair of black heels in his hand. He looked me up and down, almost disappointed.

“I was hoping you’d choose the dress,” he admitted. “Why don’t you try it on anyways, sweetheart?”

“I… I don’t really wear things like that,” I muttered.

“First time for everything. Put it on, I won’t look,” he promised and turned around. I stripped quickly and put the dress on. It barely came to the middle of my thigh, and hugged me in all the wrong places. I put the shoes on and was surprised about how well they fit. Dwight’s ex wife and I were the same size in everything apparently.

“I can’t zip it up,” I said quietly and turned around. His warm fingers brushed my back, and he moved my hair out of his way gently. He zipped it up slowly, definitely taking his time. I shivered when he finally finished.

“I gotta say, you look better in that than Sherry ever did.” He whistled and motioned for me to spin for him. I turned around slowly. I could feel how badly my face was burning. “Come on, we’ve still got some shit to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all what am i doing with my life  
> Songs I Listen To While Writing:  
> Closer- Nine Inch Nails  
> Head Like A Hole- Nine Inch Nails  
> Jekyll and Hyde- Five Finger Death Punch  
> Sucker For Pain- Imagine Dragons  
> God's Gonna Cut You Down- Johnny Cash  
> Take Me Out To The Ball Game- Kidsongs (wow that one's.. dark)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callie meets the wives and dear Dr. Carson.

Shit to do. He kept saying that. “Like what?” I asked. He just smiled knowingly and put his hand on my back again. We walked down the dismal hall again, and he stopped in front of another door. He unlocked it and gently pushed me in.

“Girls, meet Callie,” he said and shut the door. I backed up against it. Four women not much older than me stared at me. 

“Oh, honey, are you okay?” the red haired one asked, walking up to me. She took my hands and peered into my eyes. “Where are you from?”

“Just… a group. He took me,” I said. She nodded knowingly and gestured to the blond one who was sitting on an ottoman with a drink in her hand.

“He did the same thing with Amber,” she said. “You’re Callie, right? I’m Frankie. That’s Sherry,” she pointed to the woman with short brown hair, “and Tanya.” She pointed to the woman with dark hair and bangs.

“Hi,” I waved shyly. 

“He wants another one?” the blonde one slurred. Amber. Right. 

“That man has desires that would be impossible for one woman to satisfy,” Sherry commented. I eyed her. She looked much smaller than me, even though we were even the same height. 

“Wait, you think he wants me? Like, as his wife?” I asked incredulously. Amber rolled her eyes and Sherry squeezed her shoulder, like a mother disciplining her child. 

“That’s a safe assumption, honestly. He tries to keep us… I don’t know. Secluded. He doesn’t want people to fill our heads with hatred for him,” Sherry explained. Tanya had been quiet this whole time, barely even moving. But on the last few words, she shot up. Her eyes were filled with a sort of indescribable anger. 

“We don’t need anyone else to make us hate him! We can do that on our own, and I’m doing it pretty fucking well!” she shouted. I jumped. For such a tiny thing, she could be loud.

“What’s he actually like?” I asked after a moment.

“What do you think? What have you seen him do?” Sherry asked.

“He… he killed someone. A man named Mario. And he took me from my mom. Now he’s treating me so well. He gave me new clothes, and-” I started.

“That’s how he is. And I like my dress on you,” Sherry said drily. I looked down and tugged the fabric down a little further. “He’ll treat you well at first. Real well. You’ll feel great about all of this. You’ll almost forget about what he’s capable of. But soon, it’ll start to wear on you. Just look at Amber, she’s barely holding it together.” Amber raised her middle finger defiantly and I laughed weakly.

“So… what do I do?” I asked. They all looked away, apparently not wanting to meet my eyes. No one answered. “What do I do?” I demanded.

“You say yes to him,” Amber finally said. “You say yes, and you turn into some mindless doll, and he won’t even notice. But you’ll say you love him and he’ll accept it and that’s it. Or you’re gonna be forced to work out there.” She waved her hand towards the door and polished off her drink.

“Out… there?” I tilted my head. “What’s it like?”

“Oh, he hasn’t shown you yet,” she giggled. “He must really like you, he’s trying to show you the good stuff. Give him some time.” She swished some imaginary alcohol in her glass and tilted it towards me. “You need a drink,” she decided and stood up. She shook her head to clear it and stumbled over to the bar against the far wall. Tanya shot me a pitiful glance.

“Callie, tell us about you. If you’re going to be hanging out with us more often, might as well get to know you,” she said. She sat on a satiny couch and patted the spot next to her. I carefully maneuvered over in my high heels and she clicked her tongue. “Honey, around us, you can take those off. I know how awful they are.” I sat next to her and took the miserable heels off. Amber handed me a drink and sat across from me. They all looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, what do you want to know?” I asked and took a sip. It was good, Amber had a talent.

“Oh, like what you did before the world went to shit, your favorite food, all that good stuff!” Frankie encouraged.

“I, uh, I worked in a department store. I was only 19 and about to start college then... well, you know. I wanted to be a psychology major,” I sighed, running my finger over the edge of the glass.

“Psychology major? That’s impressive. I was a babysitter. Frankie was a masseuse,” Sherry nodded approvingly.

“I’m sure he appreciates the whole masseuse thing,” I joked. They tittered quietly, not really a full laugh, but Frankie cracked a smile.

“He has more tension in his shoulders than anyone I’d ever met,” she chuckled. Amber stared into her drink and started laughing. Really laughing. Soon, we were all laughing like we had heard the world’s funniest joke. Suddenly, the door swung open. There was an unfamiliar man in a white coat.

“Dr. Carson,” Tanya murmured so just I could hear. 

“Negan sent me. Uh, Callie, right?” he asked me. I nodded and put my shoes back on, then stood. Tanya gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I walked out.

“What’s this about?” I asked, crossing my arms. 

“Well, Callie, my name is Emmett Carson. I’m the doctor at the Sanctuary. Since you’re new, Negan wants you tested for any ailments that might affect your work here,” he explained. I almost laughed. The group was the Saviors, this place was the Sanctuary, was Negan their god or their religion? 

“Lead the way,” I gestured down the hall. He nodded solemnly and led me down yet another series of boring hallways with identical doors. “What’s he hiding in here?” I asked suddenly. Dr. Carson raised an eyebrow at me.

“He likes to keep his secrets. I suggest you don’t pry,” he recommended. I nodded and didn’t say anything else. He held the door for his office and I stepped in. The room was pristine and practically glowing white. 

“Please put this on.” He handed me a paper gown and turned around.

“Can you help me with my zipper?” I asked. He yanked it down hard, nearly tearing the dress. His fingers were cold and too soft, not at all like Negan’s. I shivered and slipped it off. I put the paper gown on and sat on the table. He poked and prodded, examined my mouth with a tongue depressor, checked my reflexes. The whole situation felt strangely mundane. 

“When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?” he asked, looking down at a clipboard. 

“Uh…” I rubbed the back of my neck. When was it? “I think… three years ago.”

“Have you ever been tested for STD’s?” he asked, checking something off on a list.

“No, my first time was after all of this happened.” I gestured vaguely. He snorted.

“Ever had any symptoms of any sort of disease?”

“Nope, haven’t even gotten a cold.”

“Okay, thank you. I’ll take you back to the room,” Dr. Carson said. He turned to wait for me to change back into the dress. I didn’t even have time to get the paper one off my shoulders before Negan opened the door abruptly. I yelped and pulled it back up. 

“Don’t let me stop you,” he grinned. I blushed and wrapped my arms around myself as he turned his attention to the doctor. “So?”

“She’s fine, better condition than most people are when they’ve been on the move for so long,” Dr. Carson said. Negan looked at me appreciatively.

“Sherry says you’re a great girl. I can’t wait to find out,” he said casually. “Get dressed, I’ll be outside. I’ve got some people I want you to meet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i hope i'm capturing the wives' characters right i'm doin my best


End file.
